TAOISM: Shit happens.
CONFUCIANISM: Confucius say, "shit happens".
CALVINISM: Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
BUDDHISM: If shit happens, it really isn't shit.
SEVENTH DAY ADVENTIST: No shit on Saturdays.
ZEN: What is the sound of shit happening?
HEDONISM: There's nothing like a good shit happening.
HINDUISM: This shit happened before.
MORMON: This shit is going to happen again.
ISLAM: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
MOONIES: Only happy shit really happens.
PROTESTANISM: Let the shit happen to someone else.
CATHOLICISM: Shit happens because you are bad.
HARE KRISHNA: Shit happens rama rama.
JUDAISM: Why does this shit always happen to us?
ZOROASTRIANISM: Shit happens half the time.
CHRISTIAN SCIENCE: Shit is in your mind.
ATHEISM: I don't believe no shit is happening.
EXISTENTIALISM: What is shit anyway?
RASTAFARIANISM: Let's smoke this shit.
TAOISM: If you can shit, it isn't shit.
HINDUISM: This shit isn't a religion, it's the way of life.
CHARISMATIC: Shit is happening because you deserve it, but we love you anyway.
NEWAGE: That's not shit, it's feldspar. This isn't shit if I really believe it's chocolate
I create my own shit.
EXISTENTIALISM: Shit doesn't happen; shit is.
WICCA: If shit happened once, it will happen twice more.
JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES: No shit happens until Armaggedon.
SECULAR HUMANISM: Shit evolves.
CHRISTIAN SCIENCE: When shit happens, don't call a doctor--pray.
UNITARIANISM: Go ahead, shit anywhere you want.
IRAQI BAATHIST: Oh shit!
VOODOO: Shit doesn't just happen -- somebody dumped it on you.
AGNOSTICISM: It looks and smells like shit, but I haven't tasted it, so I'm not sure whether its shit or not.
YUPPIE SHIT: It's my shit! All mine! Isn't it beautiful?
AN EMPLOYER: Shit happens, and rolls down hill.
HEISENBERGISM: Shit happened, we just don't know where.
COMMUNISM: It's everybody's shit.
CAPITALISM: Shit happens, and it'll cost you!
CONFUCIANISM: Confucius say, "shit happens".
CALVINISM: Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
BUDDHISM: If shit happens, it really isn't shit.
SEVENTH DAY ADVENTIST: No shit on Saturdays.
ZEN: What is the sound of shit happening?
HEDONISM: There's nothing like a good shit happening.
HINDUISM: This shit happened before.
MORMON: This shit is going to happen again.
ISLAM: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
MOONIES: Only happy shit really happens.
PROTESTANISM: Let the shit happen to someone else.
CATHOLICISM: Shit happens because you are bad.
HARE KRISHNA: Shit happens rama rama.
JUDAISM: Why does this shit always happen to us?
ZOROASTRIANISM: Shit happens half the time.
CHRISTIAN SCIENCE: Shit is in your mind.
ATHEISM: I don't believe no shit is happening.
EXISTENTIALISM: What is shit anyway?
RASTAFARIANISM: Let's smoke this shit.
TAOISM: If you can shit, it isn't shit.
HINDUISM: This shit isn't a religion, it's the way of life.
CHARISMATIC: Shit is happening because you deserve it, but we love you anyway.
NEWAGE: That's not shit, it's feldspar. This isn't shit if I really believe it's chocolate
I create my own shit.
EXISTENTIALISM: Shit doesn't happen; shit is.
WICCA: If shit happened once, it will happen twice more.
JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES: No shit happens until Armaggedon.
SECULAR HUMANISM: Shit evolves.
CHRISTIAN SCIENCE: When shit happens, don't call a doctor--pray.
UNITARIANISM: Go ahead, shit anywhere you want.
IRAQI BAATHIST: Oh shit!
VOODOO: Shit doesn't just happen -- somebody dumped it on you.
AGNOSTICISM: It looks and smells like shit, but I haven't tasted it, so I'm not sure whether its shit or not.
YUPPIE SHIT: It's my shit! All mine! Isn't it beautiful?
AN EMPLOYER: Shit happens, and rolls down hill.
HEISENBERGISM: Shit happened, we just don't know where.
COMMUNISM: It's everybody's shit.
CAPITALISM: Shit happens, and it'll cost you!